If you’ve been in this line of work long enough, you already know: we all carry a few unforgettable calls. They come back at the most random times. A sound. A smell. A song on the radio. And the truth is, there’s usually nothing “wrong” with you for remembering — it’s simply what the human body does under extreme stress.
In public safety, we don’t always talk about the why behind those memories. But when we talk about unforgettable calls, we’re really talking about what happens inside us in those moments when the job stops feeling routine and suddenly becomes life-and-death.
Why Certain Calls Become “Unforgettable”
Most shifts run on muscle memory. Repetition. Pattern recognition. Predictability.
But then there are the rare calls — the ones that punch straight through that routine.
Here’s what research in stress physiology and trauma science tells us:
1. The Brain Marks Intense Experiences as “Do Not Forget”
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/According to the National Institute of Mental Health, high-stress events activate the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for emotional intensity and threat detection. When that happens, the brain tags the moment as something that must be remembered for future survival.
That “tag” is not a sign of weakness.
It’s biology doing its job a little too well.
2. Adrenaline and Cortisol Change How We Store Memories
When the body hits the gas pedal — the full fight-or-flight surge — adrenaline sharpens certain senses while cortisol helps the brain record details. That’s why so many responders can describe an unforgettable call with crystal clarity even years later.
➡️ Related reading: The Physiology Behind Fight-or-Flight
3. The “Rare Event Effect” Makes Certain Calls Stand Out
Routine calls don’t stick.
The outliers do.
Large-scale incidents.
Child calls.
Officer- or Firefighter-in-distress situations.
Multi-patient scenes.
Anything involving personal reminders — someone who reminds you of a family member, a street you know well, a tone in someone’s voice.
This is a documented psychological pattern called salience encoding — the brain highlights anything that disrupts normal expectations.
4. Sensory Input Becomes Locked Into the Body
According to research published by the American Psychological Association, sensory memories (sounds, smells, visual fragments) are stored differently than narrative memories. They can resurface when triggered by everyday life, long after the event.
This is why responders often say:
“It’s not the scene I remember. It’s one specific detail.”
What Public Safety Culture Doesn’t Always Say Out Loud
Most of us learned early:
“You don’t talk about the calls that stick with you.”
Or worse:
“You should be tougher than that.”
But here’s the reality — confirmed by peer support programs, trauma researchers, and decades of responder wellness data:
Holding onto a memory doesn’t mean you’re broken.
It means you’re human.
This job demands superhuman calm in chaotic moments, but the cost often shows up quietly, later, when the shift is over and the rest of the world thinks you’re “off.”
Understanding the physiology behind unforgettable calls doesn’t erase them.
But it removes shame from the experience — and shame is often the thing that keeps responders from talking, processing, or healing.
How Understanding Stress Physiology Helps Us Carry the Load
Here’s how knowing what’s happening inside your body helps in real life:
It counters the “What’s wrong with me?” fear
Recognizing that the brain is wired to remember high-intensity events helps responders normalize their reactions. You’re not malfunctioning — your body is doing what it was built to do.
It helps you name what you’re feeling
Naming the physiology (“My amygdala was firing,” “My cortisol spiked,” “My nervous system stored this as threat”) creates distance from self-blame and opens the door to healthier responses.
It supports peer conversations that feel safer
When we understand the science, we can talk to each other with less embarrassment and more honesty. It’s easier to say:
“That call hit my nervous system hard,”
than
“That call messed me up.”
It’s the first step toward long-term resilience
All the tools — regulation, grounding, emotional decompression — land better once you understand the system you’re working with. Awareness isn’t the whole journey, but it’s where the path starts.
A Grounded, Human Closing
If you carry an unforgettable call, you’re not alone.
Every First Responder, Dispatcher, Firefighter, and Officer I’ve ever known has at least one. Some have more than they’d ever admit.
Those memories don’t mean you’re weak.
They mean the call mattered.
They mean you showed up in a moment when someone desperately needed you.
And if the weight still sits with you, that says nothing about your strength — and everything about your humanity.
You’re allowed to remember.
You’re allowed to feel it.
And you’re allowed to not carry it alone.
